Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes End Five-Year, One-Baby Contract

We can't believe he looks this good either...Tom and Katie are getting a divorce, ladies and gentlemen, and hopefully the Scientologists haven't reprogrammed all the spunk out of the poor girl. We mean rich girl. We're sure she's going to be very, very rich, and set for life, and that's swell. What a world. [People, HuffPo]

UPDATE: Let the Tom Cruise on Grindr memes begin! (See below)

UPDATE 2: Uh, so, does this blind item suggest that Tom may have been having a little secret affair with David Beckham? Whoa.